Recovery, on God's Terms

This is a video I found on youtube, about a young woman who overcame anorexia and bulimia. Before being consumed by this mental illness, she identifies herself as an energetic, social, goofy, athletic, strong and outgoing person, or "at least, I think that's what I was." she says. The words she used to identify herself before she became anorexic and bulimic are God terms. She woke up one day and decided that she wasn't happy with who she was and decided to blame her body for everything that was going wrong in her life. She then began to identify herself with Devil terms such as fat, weak, disgusting, inadequate, and unworthy. She then tells her story on how she became stubborn, turned down her own path, and turned away from God. Instead of looking to God for answers, she began to deny herself in every aspect of her life. She allowed her addiction to anorexia and bulimia start to consume her life, "the lies were sweet and vile on my tongue" she says. She pretended that everything was all glamorous, but she describes herself as quiet, shy, and different. It had led her down a road that was leading to death, but in the end she overcame her illness.

During the video, she says "I had been pursuing thin, beautiful, succesful, and lovable." which I noticed that the last 3 of these terms can be considered God terms. At the time in her life when she began to identify herself with devil terms is the time when her life began to take a wrong turn. In her mind, the terms being thin, and lovable carried a negative association with it that lead her to starve herself. In her mind, what was her ultimate goal? Did she know what she was pursuing?